ConfusionViolet words are my sanity’s undoing and I am entrenched in madness So many years I have worked to come to terms with who I am Binaries often have me seething with anger, and yet… So much of my life is controlled by themConfusion
What I and others know of myself is one half of a seemingly uncomplicated whole I am attracted to one thing, and not the other Ridicule follows the middle ground The ground my feelings for you are forcing me to take I can’t even know if you feel the same way But I think you might, or you could It’s my private crazy world that keeps me thinking of
some of meexsanguinated I am hoarfrost creeping up my bloodless veins it started in my heart, that pulsing organ a throne of bitternesssome of me
flaunts my masonry skills the bilious twist of friendship reinforces slats on old fences I twist in the wind night air that breathes exhaling images of you, into me the conscious mind dissipates lightly releasing reality's grip then for one moment I am whole.
wanting youI tried not to want you but when you are close to me I have to hold my breath fingernails in my palms I could slip and reach out to you hands in your hair.. lips and teeth on your gorgeous skin.wanting you
I spend my nights
alternating hot, frustrated. cold, lonely.
I want to tell you how no superlative could accurately describe you it's reduced me to sophomoric metaphors and cliche emotions if you could only not be so close to me sometimes yet again, if only you would move closer so I could feel your heat as I revel masochistically in impossible lust just once ... you and I ...
the past isn't so pastin hazy sunlight or pouring rain I am submerged she plunges me into cold dark water I used to swim, enjoying the silky buoyancy I must have forgotten, along the way a simple thought of her plunges me to the rocks and slime my lungs fill with grimy water even as I smile and pretend I don't feel lost so deep it should be easy to swim out of this but I can't cut through,the past isn't so past
there are webs and webs of sediment I struggle to be loose so thoughts of her don't run me ragged while my straining heart lights for another,
and I am torn asunder, conflicted and alone.
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My Gallery
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"If you look around the table and you can't tell who the sucker is, it's you." (Quiz Show)
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"I love a martini, but two at most. Three I'm under the table, four I'm under the host." ~Dorothy Parker
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"sooner or later you had to talk, even if it was just because you had run out of things to throw."
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"I love a martini, but two at most. Three I'm under the table, four I'm under the host." ~Dorothy Parker
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"Ankh-Morpork. The city that never sleeps. Admittedly, this is because of the fleas."
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"I love a martini, but two at most. Three I'm under the table, four I'm under the host." ~Dorothy Parker
--
"Ankh-Morpork. The city that never sleeps. Admittedly, this is because of the fleas."
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